Elements of Life | Wild Woman to Wise Woman
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Wild Woman to Wise Woman

Wild Woman to Wise Woman

The transition from wild woman to wise woman happens in moments from the inside; a vague haze, an emotional inability to express clearly, waves where nothing feels easy. There may be wakeful nights, severe profuse sweating, despair or a sense of foreboding.

There is no willing this not to be. Hormones are a divine construction, always taken from our hands and hearts.

To a man unable to comprehend his wife or partner, I say…

“You are fourteen in a pool, a girl in a bikini dives toward you, how able were you to choose or contemplate your body’s response to hormones. As in pregnancy or menses, hormones flood and flow through women in seasons.”

Somehow they all gain a moments understanding.

The fatigue is strange, it feels almost viral, as though it may pass the next day.

For a man, hormones are experienced as a random reaction to stimulus. Men often penetrate and direct, living from this place.

For a woman, hormones are woven into all of who we are or become.

At this change of life, the female principle of nurture and nourish may also change.


My hope and desire is that this second-last right of passage takes you to a place where:

Anxiety melts to compassion

Lusting after outcome diminishes

When you tire, you rest

When you achieve, it’s enough

And where, it is stillness that completes you.


I have worked with many remarkable women during this transforming time and I now recognise one thing I have said may be true…

Speak to someone on Marriage, when they’re married

Speak to someone on Birth, when they’ve birthed

Be with someone, as they relinquish their need to be the wild woman, to embrace the wise woman emerging within you.

Always honour this process and have Faith in the integrity of nature.

Never use the term crone. I have read enough mythology, Shakespeare and Robert Johnson to know it leads nowhere good.


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